Malt liquor madness

Sipping at the other end of the spectrum
By Josh Smith June 30, 2010
http://thephoenix.com/Providence/food/104596-malt-liquor-madness/

Malt liquor is alternately derided as preying on our nation's poor, as a cheap way for frat boys to get drunk, and as just terrible beer. Certainly, all of these are true. However, malt liquor may also be a cheap and very fun source of entertainment this summer. I know this doesn't sound right coming from someone who advocates good beer, but bear with me.

A beer tasting party is something that I've been wanting to try but knew my friends weren't ready for. Now don't get me wrong, they've been good sports about my craft beer fetish by going to brewpubs most weekends and trying countless new styles of beer. But that doesn't mean they've always liked it.

While a tasting party of Double IPAs or Flemish Sours wouldn't go over well with this crowd, a simpler style of beer actually might. And it doesn't get any simpler than malt liquor! With this in mind, "Malt Liquor Madness" was born.

For those unfamiliar, malt liquor is a lager brewed specifically to produce higher alcohol levels at a low cost. Typically dry and light in color, malt liquors are far more sweet than bitter. The inclusion of adjuncts such as corn, sugar, and rice, as well as fusel alcohol, allow malt liquors to weigh in anywhere from 5.5 to 9% alcohol by volume! Between the high ABV and the fact that most come in 40-ounce bottles, malt liquor is not something to be taken lightly.

For our tournament I set up a bracket with eight malt liquors facing off in the first round, with the two highest scoring entries advancing to a head-to-head final matchup. Scorecards allowed everyone to take notes on each of the five categories on which beer is rated (appearance, aroma, taste, mouth feel, and overall impression) and then give each entry a score ranging from 5 to 1.

At only $2 for a 40-ounce bottle, hosting the entire event was quite inexpensive. Two-ounce pours left enough for all 10 participants to sample during the first round and, if necessary, the finals. More importantly, small pours moderated our alcohol intake from these behemoths. While we were ready for the tournament, I was not prepared for the results.

Shockingly, STEEL RESERVE 211 (HIGH GRAVITY) finished dead last. This was actually my favorite beer of the night for its aroma of light malt and faint hops. All the more impressive considering that the beer was served close to freezing. In retrospect, it was probably done in by its seeding as the first beer served of the night, and therefore the first malt liquor many of my friends ever tasted. Live and learn.

Coming in at #7 was MICKEY'S, a very watery beer. Equally light-bodied and bland was finalist #6, KING COBRA PREMIUM MALT LIQUOR. Another surprise came in the form of two of the pre-tournament favorites settling into the middle of the pack. COLT 45 MALT LIQUOR is a classic that I wanted to like, but found overly sweet and creamy. HAFFENREFFER PRIVATE STOCK boasts of its "imported taste" and was the hoppiest beer of the night. This balance made Private Stock my second favorite.

Which brings us to the Top 3. OLDE ENGLISH 800 had a very unpleasant raw taste of corn and water. ST. IDES HIGH GRAVITY MALT LIQUOR was fairly well-constructed but dominated by alcohol at a whopping 8.2% ABV.

So the winner of Malt Liquor Madness, in a landslide, was . . .MOLSON XXX?! What a shocker — I always dismissed this beer as something guzzled by crazed Montreal Canadien fans. At 7.3% ABV, there is no escaping the husky alcohol and grainy flavor. It's worth noting that this was the only contender coming in a 25-ounce can and not a 40-ounce bottle, though I don't think it made any difference.

To be absolutely clear, I in no way endorse this beer, or any malt liquor. But in small quantities, it did make for a very entertaining barbecue, and proved that my friends were not yet ready for a proper beer tasting party. Maybe next summer.

Union Station

Disclaimer up front: I am no apologist for brewpub chains. All too often it seems like these restaurant chains view beer as nothing more than a product and marketing edge. So this was actually my first visit to the John Harvard Brewpub chain.

Union Station has a great location right in downtown Providence. After a summer concert in Waterplace Park, my wife, a couple of friends, and I stopped in for a meal and sampler tray. The brick ambiance of what was assumedly an old train station was pleasant. The memorabilia celebrating another brewer -- Narragansett -- was kind of odd.

The Summer Blonde (4) was quite malty for a blonde. It was also the only beer of the night with decent carbonation since their tap lines desperately needed a cleaning. Golden Spike Ale (6) really wasn't a golden with a dark complexion and generous hopping. Probably the best beer of the night though... Trip Hop (5) tasted a lot like a flat, fruity Wit beer. I had high hopes for their Half Day IPA (5) but it too was flat with a cloying bitterness. The proceeds of the River Otter Ale (3) went to the Roger Williams Park Zoo, which was nice. Sadly, the beer was not, tasting most like a raspberry Snapple. Lastly, was their Barleywine (4), with raw piney hops, some alcohol, and a general dullness.

I don't like to pile on brewers, so let's just say this is exactly what you would expect. I would rank it a half step below Rock Bottom Brewery. Still preferable to The 99, Applebee's, and the like though.

Largest American Brewers

This is kind of old news, but the full truth of it all just hit me the other day. So when InBev of Belgium bought Budweiser, something interesting happened. Sam Adams became the largest American-owned brewer in America. Yes, Sam Adams! Now, Jim Koch and I have had our share of disagreements, but in the beginning, Jim was one of the little guys taking on the big guys. And even today, Sam is still a craft brewer. And by association, that means a craft brewer is now the #1 American brewer! It seems like a victory for all craft brewers. (Go ahead and disagree in the comment section, Mr. Cedrone.)

So after Bud you have Miller and Coors, which are operated by South African Brewers from the UK and South Africa, and Molson out of Canada, respectively. Pabst -- while an awesome macro -- does not actually own a brewery and only contracts. And it gets even better after Sam. You have Yuengling, Sierra Nevada, and New Belgium! Truly, a new day has dawned. Let's put off that messy distinction between craft breweries and macro-craftbreweries for another day, shall we? The whole list can be found here.

Top 10
1. Anheuser-Busch InBev, Belgium
2. MillerCoors Brewing Co., Britain/South Africa/Canada
3. Pabst Brewing Co., Contract MillerCoors
4. Boston Beer Co. (Sam Adams), MA
5. D. G. Yuengling and Son Inc., PA
6. Sierra Nevada Brewing Co., CA
7. Craft Brewers Alliance, Inc. (Redhook), OR
8. New Belgium Brewing Co., CO
9. High Falls Brewing Co. (Dundee, Genesee, etc.), NY
10. Spoetzl Brewery (Shiner), TX

MoonShot Beer

New Century MoonShot Beer
Bottle -- Superstar Discount Beverage, Huntington, NY
i have been looking to try this beer ever since i saw beer wars live. allow me to refresh your memory about moonshot from an earlier post:

A focus of the movie was on the personal stories of two
craft brewers heading in different directions, one
succeeding wildly and the other struggling. Sam Caglione
of Dogfish head played the first role spectacularly. But for
some unknown reason (the need for a woman heroine?)
the second was played by Rhonda Kallman, formerly of
Sam Adams and now selling a gimmicky caffienated beer
called MoonShot. Now for the audience of Beer Advocates
who filled these movie theaters, this was a total joke.
Rhonda was not a brewer, but a marketer, and a
marketer of a horrible product at that. Anat would
like us to feel sympathetic for Rhonda who was
failing miserably, totally missing the point that
Rhonda treats beer like a commodity just like the
macrobrewers that this movie was railing against!
I think this poorly conceived subplot ruined the
movie for many serious beer people.

well, that was harsh. hopefully it was at least fair. okay, well, here we go. smells a lot like a malt liquor, with a certain industrial smell... leather perhaps? must be the caffeine. poor carbonation is immediately visible and mouthfeel is almost flat too, like apple juice or something. flavor starts very blah and then the aftertaste kicks in, quite delayed. dan describes it like vomit rising in your neck. sadly, this is accurate. possibly the worst beer i have ever tasted (and i drank a lot of crappy beers in africa...) i can't imagine a scenario in which rhonda will succeed with this beer but only because craft beer is still about substance over style.
Score: 1

Malt Liquor Madness

Beer tasting parties are something I have been wanting to try, but I knew my friends weren't quite ready for it. Now don't get me wrong, they have been really good sports about my beer fetish by going to brewpubs most every weekend and trying countless styles of beer. But that doesn't mean they have always liked it. With this in mind, Malt Liquor Madness was born.

To begin, I had to find 8 different kinds of malt liquor, which was harder than you might think. Seven liquor stores later, I had my lineup of contenders and started peeling labels so that this could be a blind taste test. All of my friends participating were then given a scorecard with space for tasting notes on each of the five categories (I was the only one to actually take down notes...) and were asked to give the beer an overall score from 5 to 1. (Odds are the best malt liquor in the world is a 5 on a 10 point scale, so this worked out about right...) As for the tournament, there would be four contenders going head-to-head on either side of the bracket, with the two beers receiving the highest total of points from the judges advancing to the finals. (20oz was split nine ways into clear solo cup so that there would be enough left if that beer advanced to the championship match...) With all of this worked out, we were ready to start.

And as samples of contender number one were being passed around, every single person at the party asked me what a malt liquor is. Oi. Okay, let's take a step back. Beer advocate?

"For the most part, Malt Liquor beers are sold in the infamous 40 oz sized bottles. Straw to pale amber in color, most use excessive amounts of adjuncts, such as corn, rice, refined brewers sugar (dextrose) and as a result there are very few "all malt" brewed malt liquors. Hops are barely used, just enough is added to balance off any cloyingness. Higher alcohol versions tend to have a loads of fusel alcohol, which gives off solvent or fuel like aromas and flavors. They are attenuated very well, meaning a higher ratio of fermentable sugars are present over other beers, but without using as many ingredients and still ending up with a high alcohol content. Some breweries enable the use of special enzymes to further breakdown the malt and adjuncts so they will yield a larger percentage of alcohol. This makes for quite a dry beer, with only a small amount of unfermented sugars and a kick that will knock you on your ass."

Bottom-line? It's a macrolager with alcohol. Our contenders started at 5.6% abv and topped out at 8.1% (Steel Reserve). This was one of the reasons I chose malt liquor; even in the small samples we were doing, you will feel the alcohol a little. That would not be the case with the Bud Light's and Coor's. I originally toyed with the idea of doing this tournament with these macrolagers but feared that when something like Miller Light won, people would take it as an endorsement to drink that vile stuff. I doubt we will have that problem with malt liquor. (Although, I will say I was surprised to the extent that all of these beers were owned by the big boys... probably should have seen that coming.) Alright, let's do this! I will list these in the order that they finished, with my own notes and score below. May the best malt liquor win! Please?

#8 Steel Reserve 211
40 oz -- Shovel Shop Spirits, Easton
hold on, steel reserve finished dead last?! you have got to be kidding me! i don't think these people are even qualified to rate malt liquor! okay, deep breath. this malt liquor from texas was my favorite beer of them all. good head retention and actually has an aroma of light malt and even a few faint hops. corn isn't the only flavor going on, with some clean malts and not unpleasant alcohol. i will actually buy this again. i think the problem was that this was the first beer tasted of the night, and for most people the first malt liquor they had ever tasted... well, live and learn.
Score: 5

#7 Mickey's
22 oz -- Blanchard's, Brockton
owned by miller. i had high expectations for mickey's as well, but i can't disagree with the low rating. i found this to be very watery.
Score: 2

#6 King Cobra Premium Malt Liquor
40 oz -- Cheers, Brockton
a product of A-B. very bland, with the little flavor being corn. light bodied. very bad.
Score: 1

#5 Colt 45 Malt Liquor
40 oz -- Shovel Shop Spirits, Easton
from pabst, the classic 40. picked up some faint hops here. taste is quite sweet. very creamy mouthfeel. really what you would expect in a malt liquor. that said, i wish i had liked this more than i did.
Score: 2

#4 Haffenreffer Private Stock
40 oz -- Shovel Shop Spirits, Easton
in my mind, this was the favorite going in. very classy label stating that this has "the imported taste." funny. again, misseeding may have cost them here as this was the last beer of the night... this was the hoppiest of the beers in my opinion (which isn't saying much), but bitterness does show up here. as a result, it was also the most balanced.
Score: 4

#3 Olde English 800
40 oz -- Shovel Shop Spirits, Easton
A-B. raw taste of corn and water. very light. very unpleasant. nevertheless, it only missed advancing to the finals by one vote! oi.
Score: 1

#2 St. Ides High Gravity Malt Liquor
40 oz -- Blanchard's, Brockton
this pennsylvania malt liquor advanced to the finals from the first bracket. fresh malt, lots of corn, and very creamy. fairly well constructed. my third favorite of the contenders.
Score: 3

#1 Molson XXX
22oz Can -- Blanchard's, Brockton
molson xxx?! in a landslide?! what a shocker! well, this was the only contender coming from a can and weighs in at 7.3% abv. husky alcohol, grainy, with some bitterness. in no way pleasant to drink. to be absolutely clear, i in no way endorse this beer. the only lesson to take away from this little experiment is what a bunch of savages my friends are. apparently it is going to have to be a while longer before i have a proper beer tasting party. or as dan suggested, we may need to get some new beer friends.
Score: 2

Crowding out the little guys

Every time I seem to go into a liquor store these days (which is quite frequently, mind you) Sam Adams seems to have a new brand on the shelves. After what seemed like years of seeing the same ten styles on the shelves, it has been a little disorienting to see all of these new LongShots, Imperial Series, Brewmasters Collection and other nonesense. For my real thoughts on all of this, read on.

Samuel Adams Blackberry Wit
Bottle -- Luke's, Rockland
little annoyed that koch stole my blackberry idea -- it would be so much better in a chocolate porter! fruity aroma seems closer to raspberries than blackberries to me, but you get the gist. quite sweet and flavoring seems artificial. very fizzy. exactly what you would expect. not going to reccomend this even to those fruity beer drinkers out there.
Score: 3

Samuel Adams Brick Red
Tap -- Union Brewhouse, Weymouth
was a little surprised to see this one -- pretty sure they already have an irish red in their line... nothing groundbreaking either. malty with very sweet aftertaste. watery. the cynic in me thinks that all of these flashy new labels are just a ploy to crowd out other smaller craft brewers for shelf space...
Score: 5

On the lighter side

As I have said before, I have been putting more and more emphasis on finding drinkable beers these days. The key, of course, is finding a beer that is light and easy going down, with sacrificing flavor -- and I am not talking about Bud Light's idea of flavor either!

(And one more note on Bud Light, while we are on the topic. I think it is important that we not cede the word "drinkability" to Bud Light, despite their popularizing the term with their slick and omnipresent advertisements. The idea of drinkability far predates this latest ad campaign, and is used by many craft beer enthusiasts as one of the five pillars on which to rate beer. But I digress.)

Point is, drinking more than a couple of Russian Imperial Stout's or Barleywine's is a tall order (just ask my friend Jon after my bachelor party...) Take for example, the beers I will be making available after my upcomming wedding (only one week away!) As much as I might have wanted an IPA or a Robust Porter, I thought better of it. Better to have a flavorful session beer available, which is why I am proud to announce that two of my favorites local beers will be available:

1) Ipswich Original Ale - English Pale Ale, 5.4% abv, Ipswich, MA

2) Cape Ann Fisherman's Brew - Amber Lager, 5.5% abv, Gloucester, MA

Looking forward to see what the crowd's reaction will be on these two fine session beers.

Now let's go mining for some more session beers on the light side of the spectrum...

Blue Hills Extra Pale Ale
Tap -- Union Brewhouse, Weymouth
a new brewery? in canton, mass?! hot damn! hard to get excited about an extra pale ale, but this wasn't bad. flavor characterized by toasted malts and some light fruit hops. not bad for an extra pale. look forward to blue hills next offering.
Score: 6

Blue Hills India Pale Ale
Tap -- Union Brewhouse, Weymouth
i had to wait a couple of months, but i found their next brew at the same place. pours a little darker for an ipa, a light amber. floral hops on nose, but is dulled a bit by malts. malts register in taste too, while hops take on citrusy nature. extremely drinkable for a 6.6% ipa. i really liked this beer and will eagerly reccomend it to all!
Score: 8

Gritty McDuff's Sebago Light Ale
Sampler -- Gritty McDuff's Brewpub, Freeport, ME
light and and almost totally flavorless, as you would expect. i know every brewer feels the need to have a bud light alternative, but still this is hard to recommend.
Score: 2

Magic Hat Single Chair Ale
Sample -- Great Lost Bear, Portland, ME
an american pale ale weighing in at an even 5%. taste is of wheat-like malts, light strawberry, and ginger. at this point i am having trouble distinguishing between the magic hats beers -- they all seem to be easy drinking, if unremarkable.
Score: 7

Mendocino Blue Heron Pale Ale
Bottle -- Boston
skunky wheat taste, raw hops. the next good beer i have from these guys will be the first.
Score: 3

Oak Pond Somerset Lager
22 oz -- Oak Pond Brewery, Skowhegan
golden, but dark golden for a lager... husky aroma of grain and alcohol... this is a flavorful lager. earthy hops translate to a light bitterness... light heft to it. would fit the bill on a hot day.
Score: 7

Shipyard Summer Ale
Bottle -- Gordon's, Waltham
it is difficult to rate beers in a style that just doesn't do much for me, and that would certainly be the case here. grainy, lemony, not especially tasty. like most summers, it foresakes what is interesting for easy drinking.
Score: 3

Victory Braumeister Harvest Pils
Tap -- Deep Ellum, Allston
first beer of the day for my bachelor party. chosen in the hope of being light and easy drinking, and it did not disappoint there. taste is of grassy, distinctively german hops. not bad, but this is supposedly rated as the number one german pilsner in the world... which is hard to believe.
Score: 6

Best bet:
Clipper City Heavy Seas Small Craft Warning
Bottle -- Washington DC
first off, may i say that i hate how clipper city names their beers. the whole heavy seas brand is confusing and makes the names just too lengthy. but anyways, this is an uber (imperial) pils. translucent orange... both citrus hops and biscuit malts register in aroma and flavor. both light and easy drinking. one of the best session beers i have found. thanks to my sis for this one!
Score: 9

Just a wolf in sheep's clothing?

Dundee Original Honey Brown Lager
Bottle -- Gordon's, Waltham
dundee is put out by high falls brewing company, which is owned by north american breweries, who are best known for their labatt line (and historic craft beer genesee cream ale...) sweet honey, husky malt aroma. flavor is all honey, and no brown. too sweet for me, but the honey presence seemed pretty authentic to me. sure it is kind of watery and one-dimensional, but i could see this being a hit with those bud-light-drinkers of the world. for what its worth, this is the first non-mediocre beer i have tried from the high falls label...
Score: 5
Verdict: More than just a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Leinenkugel Summer Shandy
Bottle -- Discount Liquor's, Brockton
we picked up a six-pack of this sabmiller product to go with some chinese food for kelly. kelly said i wouldn't like it, but i couldn't help but try. she was right. closer to a mike's hard lemonade than an actual beer. with a couple of key strokes on the internet i found out that they actually take a wheat beer and mix it with lemonade. seriously. the result is a sickly sweet, carbonated lemonade that has very few beer-like qualities. this frankenstein of a beer borders on being considered a beer at all in my mind. just horrific.
Score: 1
Verdict: Just a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Michelob Pale Ale
Bottle -- Blanchard's, Brockton
in an effort to be fair and balanced, i should note that i purchased this single from a large bin of older beers at a packy store in old town, maine... pours brighter orange than expected... sweet hay hops on nose... unrefined bitterness is best way to describe taste... some citrus fruit and biscuit malt... light and crisp... wasn't impressed.
Score: 3
Verdict: Just a wolf in sheep's clothing.

The Imperial Series

"For nearly twenty-five years, we have taken pride in introducing American beer drinkers to 'Big Beers'..."

Okay, which brewer am I talking about? If you picked up on my note of sarcasm and guessed where I am headed with this, you would be right. This pioneer of extreme beer is none other than Samuel Adams Brewery.

You know, "Big Beers", like Sam Adams Boston Lager! You would think I am making this up, but I am not. Click on that link... it is good for a laugh.

Now typically I would go off on a tangent about how Sam dumbs down their beer styles and how arrogant Jim Koch is, but I don't even think that is necessary here.

As for the Imperial Series itself, I'll be honest, the Double Bock was pretty good. Haven't tried the Imperial White yet, and here was my take on the Imperial Stout.

Samuel Adams Imperial Stout
Bottle -- Cardoza's, Fall River
nice enough pour... smell is mostly alcohol with some chocolate and even a little soy sauce -- don't tell me this is going to be like the triple bock again! incredibly salty taste, that soy sauce again... acidic flavor, almost like bugspray. pretty thick mouthfeel. i found this difficult to drink and dan couldn't even finish it. did i miss anything, mr. cedrone?
Score: 2

Rock Bottom hits, er, rock bottom

Well, I suppose I should begin with apologies for the title of this post. This was a piece of beer news that I had meant to pass along last week. Rock Bottom Brewery in Quincy closed its doors last weekend due to poor sales. As some of you may have remembered from my previous post on macrobreweries, I wasn't exactly Rock Bottom's biggest fan. But nevertheless. (It is worth noting that their brewpub in Boston's theater district remains open and is still "one of the company's highest performing restaurants.")

Of course, it goes without saying that it is a bad thing anytime you see 50 jobs lost. What I am curious about is whether this is a harbinger of things to come with the current recession: will craft beer drinkers pass by the Allagash showcase for an 18-pack of PBR? My guess is no, not unless you do lose your job. The craft beer market is growing too quickly right now and I think that just like movies, beer is a relatively cheap form of entertainment and therefore recession-proof.

One of my favorite beer bloggers, Jeff Alworth, of Beervana, came out with a poll on exactly this. While I do think the poll is inaccurate, it is nevertheless interesting that over half of the poll takers said their drinking habits had already changed. Here's to hoping that this was just a case of an inferior macrobrewery failing to make the grade in an increasingly competitive beer market.

Just a wolf in sheep's clothing?

This is installment two in my series searching for redeeming qualities in those macrobrews attempting to cut into the craft beer market.

Shock Top Belgian White
Bottle -- Pop's Liquors, Easton
purchased at my fiance's request for something "fruity and drinkable." she always enjoys the different blueberry beers, but as always, i thought i would try to streach her beer horizon's... kind of. as mentioned before, shocktop belgian white is a slickly marketed orange-flavored witbier put out by budweiser. cloudy and pale orange in color. mild fruity aroma, but it is in the taste that the orange really comes out. yeast does stick out as in most
witbier's, but otherwise just a watery brew. blah.
Score: 3

Verdict: Just a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Just a wolf in sheep's clothing? Bud American Ale

Okay, I'm not a fan of Budweiser, or any of those macrobrewers. And not just because they are evil multinational corporations. Mainly because their beer is flavorless, soul crushing, gruel. That said, I have been genuinely interested as each of the big boys attempts to get a piece of the quickly growing craft beer market.

Coors has its wildly successful Blue Moon line. Michelob (Anheuser-Busch) has had a range of craft beer styles for a while I believe, but now they are really trying to sell it. Budweiser has tried this before with its Shock Top Belgian White, Redbridge Lager, and Jack's Pumpkin Spice Ale. But the King of Beers really seems to think it can cash in with its latest, most patriotic beer yet. Let's see if there are any redeeming qualities to this beer, or if it is just a wolf in sheep's clothing? Look for this to be a reoccuring segment with the Michelob line on-deck.

Budweiser American Ale
Bottle -- Luke's, Rockland
it is worth noting that i really did try to go into this with an open mind since i had heard some good things... i mean i went to the lengths of actually buying it! well, i thought originally that this was supposed to be a pale ale, but it is actually an amber. appealing copper/orange color. wow, a lot of hops in aroma... sweet malts too. good start. it falls apart with the flavor though: weak malts, no hop flavor, only a slight unpleasant bitterness. very, very watery -- no surprise. if this marketing campaign is really trying to siphon off craft beer drinkers, it is not going to work. more likely, they are trying to shore up their loyal customers, and perhaps steal a few of those frat boys and sorority girls who really wish sam adams summer was available all year round. maybe a little harsh, but most definitely fair.
Score: 3
Verdict: Just a wolf in sheep's clothing.

Rock Bottom and the Big-Box Brewers

I like breweries. When going out, whenever possible, I will choose a brewery over a bar. Even if that means choosing a Big-Box Brewer. If this term sounds like a slight, it kind of is.

Generally speaking, I would definte Big-Box Brewers as large chains of brewpubs that serve their own microbrewed beer. In previous posts I have rated several Big-Box Brewers: McMenamin's of Oregon, Heartland Brewery of New York City, and John Harvard's of Cambridge, Mass. I have not been to the biggest of the Big-Box Brewers, Hops Restaurant, Bar, Brewery, but I have been to its runner-up: Rock Bottom Brewery.

As you will see by my ratings below, I have not been overly impressed. (In fact, I haven't been impressed with any of the Big-Box Brewers that I have been to thus far...) In the case of Rock Bottom, they change what is on tap often enough, but the beers themselves are pretty simplistic and dull. I appreciate brewers trying to make beer drinkable, but Rock Bottom seems to have just dumbed everything down with watery brews.

Rock Bottom American Dream IPA
Sample -- Rock Bottom Brewery, Braintree, MA
the best rock bottom had to offer. earthy aroma of grapefruit and hay. malts undreneath prevent the brew from being too bitter. pretty good.
Score: 7

Rock Bottom Improper Hopper IPA
fresh, aromatic hops up-front. downhill from there though. weak, watery taste. hops almost disappear.
Score: 5

Rock Bottom Lumpy Dog Light Lager
a ridiculous beer. this is flavored water.
Score: 1

Rock Bottom Mad Cow Milk Stout
no aroma, roasted malt taste. a very light stout, to the point of being wholly unsatisfying. great name though...
Score: 6

Rock Bottom Munich Gold
thin, one-dimensional beer: overly malty and no hop presence. ho hum.
Score: 4

Rock Bottom North Star Amber Ale
another light gold, malty brew. so watery i could drink it all night without feeling a trace of alcohol.
Score: 2

Rock Bottom Off-Kilter Scotch Ale
caramel, toffee, and sweet malts. drinkable, but not really true to style...
Score: 5

Rock Bottom Pumpkin Ale
bready, spiced -- actually quite good. kelly got this one with whipped cream and brown sugar on the edges though, so not really a fair test.
Score: 6

Rebecca's Alternative Point-Of-View

I didn't like beer the first time I tried it.

Of course, I have come around on beer. But I still have many friends who do not like beer. I understand that beer isn't for everyone, but it is also an acquired taste that takes some time to appreciate. I have also come to believe that with so many different styles of beer out there that whatever your tastes, there is one for you.

Of course, that belief has led me to try to win my friends over from the dark side, typically with lighter, fruity beers. This has had generally poor results and I am thinking I would like to try a more thorough taste testing with some more sophisticated belgian ales and sweet stouts and such. Let's see if this ever comes to fruition...

Here is what I am driving at: everyones tastes are different. Beer "experts" typically like more extreme styles: ridiculously hoped IPA's, imperial stouts, barley wines, etc. I usually tack a couple of points onto beers that have "drinkability" but am still undoubtedly out of the mainstream. For that reason, I would like to occassionally offer alternative points-of-view from some of my close friends.

So today's guest blogger is Rebecca (pictured below at her bachelorette party...) It is worth noting that Rebecca likes beer, just not the beer that I like. Also, I do not intend to mock Rebecca's high rating of Bud Light (I too like Budweiser and will choose it over the other macrobrews.) In Bud Light, Rebecca has found what she is looking for in a beer, and I respect that. But it doesn't mean that I won't try to get her to like a Czech pilsner...

Harpoon IPA
Tap -- Cask'n Flagon
ooh, i don't like that. it tastes like i'm drinking... poison. the more you drink, the better it gets though.
Score: 2

Ebulum Elderberry Black Ale
Bottle -- British Beer Company
a little bit good. almost chocolaty.
Score: 3

Founder's Centennial IPA
Tap -- British Beer Company
very bad. does not even taste like beer.
Score: 1

Her favorite:
Bud Light
Bottle -- Everywhere
looks cold, tasty, and fresh. the aroma is minimal; it smells like frat boys. fantastic, refreshing taste. not hoppy, not sweet, just the right amount of beer taste. delicious, i even like it over a coke. totally what i am looking for.
Appearance: 5/5, Aroma: 3/10, Flavor: 10/10, Palate: 5/5, Overall: 20/20, Total: 4.3
Score: 10