This was probably the most excited I have been about Halloween since the age of 5. Yes, 5 -- by the age of 6 I had already developed my current disinterest in candy. But enough about my sad, puritanical life.
This Halloween was exciting since I was going to build a keg out of a pumpkin. And then put my homebrewed pumpkin ale in it. And then drink it! This was going to be big.
Step 1: Now listen carefully because this is the most important step: Find some suckers to allow you to create a keg out of a giant pumpkin
inside their house! Ladies and gentlemen, Leanne and Ryan! (Note the lack of alcoholic beverages in front of everyone but myself -- this becomes increasingly relevant as our story goes on...)
Step 2: Find a large knife with which to stab the pumpkin. Remove a lot of pumpkin guts.


Step 3: Secure access to some serious powertools. (Note concerned look on the face of all onlookers...) Now, very carefully drill a hole that is just big enough for... @#$% %^&*! Okay, take a deep breath, we can fix this. RYAN, WHERE IS THE DUCT TAPE?! WHAT?! WHO DOESN'T OWN DUCT TAPE?!?!


Step 4: With the tap "secured" we are ready. It is at this point the relevance of completing Step 1 becomes very evident. Man, Kelly would kill me if I ever did this in our house. Nevermind that, everyone, fill that pumpkin!


Step 5: Wow, that is a lot of beer. Let's seal this up and get started!


Step 6: "You are going to have some, right, Kelly? Where is your cup? Oh, you are full. Okay, how about you, Ryan? What, you are making hot apple cider? Well, that was forseeable... George! My trusty old buddy, George! Here have some delicious pumpkin beer! What? It is too sweet?! BUT THEN WHY ARE YOU DRINKING HOT APPLE CIDER INSTEAD?!?!" Obviously, I proceeded to drink a lot of pumpkin beer. Here is some of the aftermath. Note massive flooding below pumpkin.


To be fair, this beer was much better when I first brewed it. I had heard that spiced beers tend to sour over time, but I never thought it would happen in the span of a couple of weeks. In an effort to fix the problem, I added a brown sugar solution to sweeten the beer, which was definitely an over-correction. So it goes. I thought the beer was still delicious, although the last quarter of a pumpkin was a little heavy. I wouldn't say the pumpkin infused much flavor, but that wasn't really the point, is it? Next time I would better time the brewing, put the pumpkin on ice, and probably get a smaller pumpkin. But again, where is the fun in that? Regardless, I highly recommend trying this yourself next Halloween. Just remember, Step 1 is the most important step.